In our next discussion we explore the topic of kindness as a tool for leaders when working with those that are struggling. Our ability to recognize that most people don’t need to be reminded when they are failing or falling short.
Pointing out errors and flaws does not equal improved behaviour. Ask yourself, are you hard on yourself when you make a mistake or fall short on a deliverable? The answer is often yes, very much so. Why do we think our employees and team members are any different from us. Although they may not show it on the outside in most cases the person is beating themselves up for their shortcomings.
Creating the Right Environment
Creating a safe space for the person to process, reflect and let go allows that person to get back to a coherent, aligned place. What do we mean? When a person is being hard on themselves and worrying that they are not meeting expectations they often create chemistry (hormones) in the body that can hinder their ability to learn and process information effectively. This can have a cascading impact on future performance.
Leaders benefit when they remember that the person has already beat themselves up. The person does not benefit from reminding, repeating and regurgitating the issue.
The old belief system that states, we must understand where we went wrong, in order to ensure we never do it again is flawed. The reason it is flawed is because this is where we focus the majority of our energy, on the failure. What we put our attention on is what creates emotions (negative or positive) and the emotions we have ignites chemistry (hormones) which can impact future performance (brain function).
We don’t want to ignore failures but we also need to approach them with compassion and kindness if we want to get the best results for the future. When leaders focus on creating a safe environment for individuals to process, reflect and let go quickly, everyone can move on much faster.
